Children need stability.
As parents we should give our children as much stability as we possibly can.
Children need to know that there is stability in their parent’s marriage. In this world of broken relationships, reinforce to your children that their parents love each other. Demonstrate that love for each other in words and in deeds. Noelle and I have learned that if our children see us arguing, then they also need to see us work through the reconciliation stage. As parents we need to model forgiveness, grace, and the truth that even if mom and dad don’t appear to like each other right now, they will always love one another. Give your children confidence by taking the initiative to be proactive in building a strong relationship with your spouse. Schedule date nights, read marriage books together, go to a marriage conference, spend time with each other, and find mentors and peers that will encourage you in your marriage.
Parents, if you are divorced, widowed, or still single, please do not “play married.” Do not invite others into the children’s relationship at a level greater than friendship until you have made the commitment to be married. Remember, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4).
Parents we need to give our children the stability that comes from them knowing, without a doubt, that they are your beloved children. Make this explicit. Don’t just assume they know you love them, tell them, out loud! Sit them down and express to them that they are loved by you. Point out the special ways God has made and gifted them. Spend time teaching them about the biblical truths of grace, forgiveness, and that no matter where they go or what they choose that you (and God) will always love them and pursue them.
Bless your children with financial stability. Striving to model biblical stewardship in your finances. Intentionally give to others and to the church. Seek to save as a family. Are you intentional in how you spend? Have you looked into providing financial stability for your children if something tragic would happen you? It’s perhaps uncomfortable to do so, but have you made out a simple will? Do you have enough life insurance that would pay off your debts and provide for them if you died? Be deliberate in your finances so that you can provide that foundation for your children.
Give your children the stability to know what to expect from you as a person. Be a person of integrity. Let your “yes” be “yes and your “no” be “no,” even if that costs you time and money. Live out your faith in Jesus from Monday – Saturday (not just on Sundays at church).
Hands down, the greatest factor in your children’s faith is you! If you do not live out a faith in Jesus and cannot say with humility, “Follow me as I follow Jesus”, seek God’s help to follow Him (1 Corinthians 11:1). Some simple steps to begin and to continue in: (1) Make church a priority for your family. Set Sundays apart as a day of worship, rest and fellowship. (2) Find a mentor that can disciple you. (3) Set a plan of study for the Bible. In these steps, ask your pastor for help. Pastors should love to help you grow.
If you put all these into place, you would think that would be great stability but parents, these alone are not enough! There is a greater foundation still needed. The tragedies recently affecting our nation are a reminder that we must give our children stability so that they can withstand whatever would happen – even death. Psalm 46 is powerful picture of the stability that can be found even when the earth itself gives way and wars cause widespread destruction.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling…the nations rage, the kingdoms totter…”Be still, and know that I am God.”…The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” Psalm 46, ESV
The stability to face anything is only found when God is with us. When God is with us we can be still even when the rest of the world is spiraling out of control. God with us is Jesus – Emmanuel. In Jesus we can take heart even when we face the troubles of this world and death itself, because Jesus has overcome the world and death.
Parents, children need stability. Give your children Jesus. You cannot teach what you do not know. Open the Bible, read the gospels, consider Jesus claims for forgiveness of sins and the promise of eternal life, and put your trust in him. Teach your children to do the same.
Jesus is the foundation for life that will not be moved. You can give your child absolute security and confidence as a child of God when you give them Jesus.
Children need stability. Will you provide that for your children?
 For example, Gary Collins in his book “Christian Counseling” contends that if children have family stability they are less likely to exhibit misbehavior such as violence, fighting, vandalism even if they live in high-violence neighborhoods (Gary Collins, Christian Counseling, Pg. 481). Ruby Payne argues for stability as the key for getting and staying out of poverty (poverty defined as a lack of necessary resources) (Ruby Payne, “Bridges Out of Poverty”)